I am once again tortured with this familiar feeling of love. I know I have written several times that I’ve forgotten what it is to be in love. I had even smirked at lovers in my write-ups. But let me admit it’s indeed no joke to stay up when the clock is ticking past midnight and definitely not when I have a long day at work tomorrow. I am almost crossing the thin border line (if there ever is one) of retardation and talking to myself. Thank heavens, my bedroom walls can’t speak. Otherwise it would be a painfully unfunny joke that it would spread.
I had been in love before and I had been hurt. Let me admit that too. Now I feel like I am in a confession room and I am not even a Christian! This is what love does to you. Well, my experience with love is fully associated with this uncanny feeling of hate. God forbid, I am not a hater. But experience, you know, comes raw sometimes. Experience! I hate that very word tonight. It’s experience that has taught me not to wear my heart on my sleeve (Now that sounds like a woman! Spare me the rolling eyes.). But I am being serious. Love is such a pain in the .. you know what!
You can call me a dork if you want to but I am going to admit again; I am not really good around women. You know, they are so fragile (I know I will be in trouble with the women readers for this line) and very sensitive! Please understand my plight. I simply don’t know how to act! I am sorry, I am making this piece such a drama with all the interjections after each sentence, but I am speaking my heart out.
Talking to the table lamp doesn’t help. It cannot tell me if she feels as intensely as I do about her. Maybe she has already entered me into her boy friends’ list. Now, there’s a difference you see; A boy friend and boyfriend is different! My goodness, and I haven’t told her yet how I feel about her. Don’t ask me what I am waiting for. Guess what? I am secretly wishing she would read this piece and somehow, magically understand that I am addressing it to her! Such lack of bravery! This is totally not me, and not this American English too.
Tell me your love story.
5 Comments:
if u noticed cracks on ur bedroom walls..someone's curiousity is killing someone badly so expose man before the wall crashes down on u n u lose the refuge of the table lamp....my best wishes!
hey hey xang...dont tell me you are in love with some blonde....cool dude! take it easy...if you love her tell her..face it...dont wait for her to make the first move..girls never do that...all the best man but love is a beautiful feeling..isnt it???
having been on the same boat, I can only tell you that time heals all wounds. Love is crippling, true, but ain't it bitter sweet? I think its a part of life.. My theory is, there are "stages" when one is in love. You ofcourse, are at the initial point; the suffocating, feeling restless, wondering, worrying, and the same time being ridden with curiosity. Yes, there are lots of secret wishes one fantasizes with.." what if i meet her on the street?" "what if all this time she'd have been thinking the same though?" Oh, and the hope for a happily-every-after!!! It might seem like you'll never be able to come out of that misery, but trust me, you will. One grows to become numb and soon her existence will not matter to you. Hate is good if you want to forget her because it will soon turn into indifference.
Also, I believe one shouldn't fear rejection. Love is acceptance.
peace.
To be in love is one of the most beautiful thing that one can ever experience. Its a passing phase so enjoy when ou are in that moment.
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